Lean on Me

Photo by: Rory M.

I was sitting in class the other day, listening to the pre-lecture chatter. I suppose you could call it eavesdropping, but the way I see it is if you're talking loudly in a room full of people, you're pretty much fair game.

Anyway, I overheard a conversation between two girls about someone they knew in high school. I tuned in at the line: Yeah, that bitch will never be skinny again.

Ouch.

Part of me cringed, a lot. And it wasn't because the woman they were discussing had gained weight (if it were, I'd be cringing at myself every other week). It was the condemning and spiteful tone in which she said it. The girls continued talking about the girl they disliked in high school; she had gotten pregnant at a young age, and was now struggling as a single mother of two.

It was pretty painful to listen to, and a couple of times I couldn't help but turn and stare in wonder at their cavalier judgment. But mostly it made me think.

It's so easy for me to say, I would never do that, and maybe that's true to an extent. But how many times have I judged someone for their appearance, or taken pleasure in their pain, or even used other people to make myself feel better? The answer is...too often.

We are inherently judgmental as people and as a culture that values outer beauty and the philosophy that subscribes to "The World According to Me". I have no doubt that those girls felt avenged by putting down their old peer, but what good is it now? The hurt has been caused, and the choices are to make something good out of it or to perpetuate the cycle. I feel like I'm just sharing an old message, but clearly we need a reminder. I need a reminder nearly every day.

Ladies, we're all in this together, and we can start growing inner beauty by building each other up, even if it's by what we don't say. This week, I'm checking myself and using my words to encourage others, rather than to feel better at their expense. Who's with me?

Rory